I Love you man...

Last weekend I went to see, I Love You, Man, which is a story about Peter, a successful real estate agent who is engaged to his dream girl but the only problem is he doesn't have a best man or any male friends for that matter. Peter immediately begins to go on extremely awkward and often times bizarre "man dates" in order to meet a friend to fulfill the position of best man. He finally finds Sydney, a fun-loving and care-free guy, who becomes his close friend and allows him to simply let go and embrace life. However, Peter's relationship with his fiancee, Zooey suffers as he is establishing a relationship with Sydney. This film examines and magnifies the obvious "double standard" that exsists between both men and women when it comes to friendships and what is considered "socially acceptable." This double standard leads itself to specific gender roles within romantic and friend relationships. For example, it is normal for two women to have dinner together and shop all day long. It is not considered awkward if a woman asks another woman for her number to catch up to chat over coffee or simply hang out. However, it is seen as "gay" for a straight man to ask for another guy's number or to have dinner together, especially multiple times. Guys are supposed to casual make their "man dates" happen. For example, it would be considered normal to ask another guy to grab a beer after work or a basketball game but not just out of the blue for no reason.
In the film, when Peter asks another guy to dinner he automatically thinks he is gay and tries to kiss him at the conclusion of the date. It is considered acceptable for Zooey to tell her close girlfriends personal information relating to Peter and her sexual life but Peter must not discuss any details with Sydney. Even as a female myself, this doesn't seem right. Guys should be able to hang out and go to dinner without assuming a romantic relationship will follow. This film opened my eyes to the social limitations of men. Gender roles do put certain individuals at an unfair disadvantage.

Another look at Private Practice...

Tonight while watching Priavte Practice, I noticed several gender refrences. First of all, the main conflict throughout the episode is Addison Montgomery, leading obgyn and surgeon on the west coast is helping a women get through a tough and potentially dangerous pregnancy, while the woman's husband (who is also a doctor at the same practice) develops feelings for Addison. This just shows how when an independent woman, such as Addison Montgomery, lands herself a respected job and is treating a patient professionally, a guy comes in to bring her back down to a flirtatious female character. While she tries to maintain her professionality throughout the episode, she eventually admits her attraction to the doctor, fitting into the stereotypical feminine role. Also, at the beginning of the episode, Addison is seen sitting on the bleachers with her collegue Naomi Bennett watching male collegues and friends play basketball. As the men are focused "on the man's game," the women watch intensely commenting on the men's bodies and flirting with their eyes and facial gestures. This displays how even successful, professional women can act like "school girls" and take on this feminine role of admiration and obsession with males and acting out in flirtatious and desperate ways. The women are always waiting and looking for a man to make them happy even though they are world-renound surgeans! Also, even when they don't try to attract and engage men, attempting to remain professional, their feminine traits take hold and there they are like a school girl again

The Bachelor...what a twist!!!

This past Monday was the final episode of The Bachelor on ABC. The episode was two hours, consisting of Jason taking each of the remaining two women to meet his family and then another hour in which he chose his future bride. I first want to admit, that I do not believe that you can find love on reality television and I only watch reality TV for pure entertainment purposes. Recently, I have also been perceptive regarding gender roles in these popular reality TV shows. During the last episode, Jason purposes to Melissa and then during the "after show" breaks up with her in an attempt to pursue Molly (the woman he rejected to be with Melissa originally!). This came to a shock to viewers everywhere! I personally was shocked that Jason chose to break up with Melissa on live TV and that Molly even entertained the idea of having a relationship with Jason after he so harshly rejected her for Melissa earlier. The show exemplifies how women will leave their jobs, family's and commitments to simply be with one guy who guess what is interested in 25 other women as well! Even when Jason ended it with Molly, she still portrayed passiveness when she took him back. In the end, Jason got what he wanted! This show is similar to "Beauty and the Patriarchal Beast," in that the women are shown in many instances as independent, either in their careers or life experiences, but then submit to men-like Jason and accept his flaws, feeling guilty for anything they might have done (or any flaws they might have) to ruin their chances of winning or being his wife in the end. In this show, the women accept the man and he is the one who can be selective!

Private Practice

During the Private Practice episode this week, gender roles were quite apparent. The doctors were treating a young fourteen year old girl, who had been diagnosed with cancer. It became apparent that the girl would not live longer than two years. Even in such a fragile and vulnerable state, she is thinking about becoming a mother. She says this is the,"Only thing she has ever wanted in life." This quote alone highlights the fact that a woman's ambitions lie solely in her desire to be a mother. Instead of living her life as a normal fourteen year old, spending time with her friends and family and trying new things, she persues a chance at motherhood. Her boyfriend is persuaded to donate sperm and eventually admits that he does not desire to be a father during this time in his life. This further demonstrates a woman's desire to embrace motherhood, even at such a young age and a male's desire to seek freedom, independence and less committment in his life. This whole situation is very strange to begin with, as the young girl's parents encourage her to seek a random sperm donor, as her boyfriend refuses to donate his sperm. This further illustrates a female going to great lengths to embrace motherhood. In reality, the young girl should be acting as a teeneger and enjoying her last moments on earth.

Friday the 13th...

Last weekend I went to see, Friday the 13th, which is a new version of the Friday the 13th film series. The film begins with Jason witnessing his mother being beheaded by a camp counsler, trying to escape her murderous rampage around Camp Crystal Lake. Thirty years later a group of vacationing friends arrive at Camp Crystal Lake to find the weed they had planted there previously. In the introductory scenes, as the friends are sitting by the campfire, the males are talking a majority of the time while the females merely sit and listen. This paves the way for the guys to be the "protectors" and the females as the afraid "dependant" characters. When the guys speak to the girls it always seems to be an attempt to "hook up" and the girls constantly encourage this behavior by flirting back. One of the girls, Amanda begins to flash her boyfriend in order to seduce him, while he is talking to his friend about finding the weed. This scene portrays women merely as sexual objects, while the guys talk "business". After the friends are eventually killed by Jason, six weeks later a group of college friends head up to Camp Crystal Lake for a "fun filled" weekend, as they know nothing about the inital killings. As they spend time at the lake, a young couple goes jetskiing and one of the girls removes her bathing suit top and skis topless while her boyfriend watches. This repetitve use of women as visual objects permeates the film. Everytime the couples are harassed by Jason (the killer), the guys are always the leaders and the girls are portrayed as afraid and literally lost without male guidance. The audience begins to feel as if the girls have no chance of survival without the male characters present. This movie portrayed stereotypical gender roles, which in turn represented what society's standards have become for both males and females. This is quite sad in my opinion.

Why does HE have to be....just not that into YOU?

This past week I saw the movie, He's Just Not That Into You, which tells the story of several single and married individuals as they naviagate through various relationships. The movie consists of the characters constantly trying to read the signals of the opposite sex. If he appears "not into you," is he really secretly attracted to you? The main character, Gigi just wants a man who calls her back and constantly sits by the phone and waits for her prince charming or Mr.Right to call. She spends a majority of the film wondering why he hasn't called and what she has done wrong. The question that keeps popping into my mind is, why can't you just be happy single and wait for "Mr.Right" to come to you? Why does a woman have to try so hard to be accepted or interesting to a guy? Why can't a woman just be "not that interested in a guy?" The film sends a message that women complicate and overanalyize relationships and men are not at all complicated. If he doesn't ask you out or call immediately after the date he is simply not that interested. Hearing the words, "He's just not that into you," makes women feel like something is wrong with them and they must change something about themselves, whether it is their appearance or personality.Why can't women just be themselves and let their authenticity draw the right men into their lives? The women in the film are often shown at work-but believe it or not are not working???? They are contemplating their love lives and over analyizing their individual relationships asking the question, "Why isn't he intereested?" Mary receives a call from a guy she has recently met and he accidently calls her by a different name on her answering machine, implying that men are "players" and women merely sit on the sidelines. This movie was entertaining and humorous, as it revealed common stereotypes about women and men when it comes to relationship drama. However, I can't help but wonder how audiences would respond to a movie entitled, "SHE'S just not that into YOU?"

Another Glance into Gray's...

As I watched the Gray's Anatomy and Private Practice crossover event tonight, I discovered several gender messages. Throughout the episode Dr.Shepherd was planning his proposal to Meredith. While this discussion goes on, Dr.Shepherd is surrounded by all his male co-workers and no women are shown during this scene.This highlights the point that the men should always be the ones to take risks and leadership roles in a relationship and women, such as Meredith's friends, don't have any suggestions.

During Private Practice, gender messages were revealed as well. In the episode the psychologist, Dr.Violet Turner, discovers she is pregnant and is not sure who the father is. She keeps this a secret and then ends up telling both the possible fathers; however, she has already assumed she will be taking care of the child alone without their assistance. It is interesting to see how the woman takes role of caregiver and the father gets to have no part in it. Where did the traditional male and female roles come from when it comes to marriage and pregnancy? Why is it considered unusual for a man to be a "stay at home dad" and for a woman to propose or iniate important stages in a relationship?